i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
