Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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