I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
