Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
