I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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