Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
