Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
