If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
