I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
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I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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