It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
