I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
