you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
