tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
