u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
