Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
