so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
