dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I believe in your delicious
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
