so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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