I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
