i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
