How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
