Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
