woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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