sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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