She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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