It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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