I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
so let's talk penis.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It's blow job season.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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