my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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