Sponge bath it is.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
