Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
