i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
