He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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