when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Terrible idea I love it
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
