Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
