Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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