oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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