Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
