I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
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I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
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Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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