If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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