why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
