Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
