He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
