Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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