Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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