I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
