it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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