you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We need to get me chipped asap
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
