My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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