Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
