I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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