chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
this just has baby written all over it
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
