idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
