I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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