I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
