3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
