Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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