Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
