Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i can't believe i had my finger in that
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
