I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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