Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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