we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize